*swipes debit card*
*purchase goes through*
me: God is good all the time
Cashier: all the time God is good
there are guys in my dorm who decided to play cards in the elevator
see what intrigues me about college isn’t the intellectual pursuit or the bonding or whatever, its the fact that people have the freedom to do random shit like this
Okay, everybody, I have a story about random shit in college. When I was in college, there was a particular class I took where, no matter what time you walked into class, if you made it into the room before the professor, you wouldn’t be counted late. I mean, that’s a pretty cool policy, given how some professors are really obnoxious about attendance.
Well, one time, a fellow student of mine was running late to class. As she reached the edge of the building, she saw her professor making it to the front steps (super long rectangular building here). He looks up from walking and he sees her. He then points to his watch, gives her a well-meaning “Look who’s late” face, and walks on inside.
What he didn’t know, though, was that this particular student was like freakishly good at bouldering and related climbing skills, so she was just like “Fuck it” and SCALED THE BUILDING!
She tapped on the window of the 4th floor classroom (the floors had like 20ft ceilings, so, she was quite a ways up there), nearly making one student piss himself. They opened the window, she rolled through, onto the floor, and slid into her seat about five seconds before the professor opened the door to the classroom.
He did a double take, started to say “How the hell d—” when a security guard ran in, red-faced and panting, pointed at her and bellowed “STOP DOING THAT!”
I mean, most professors count you as on time if you get there before them since they typically don’t know what time you got there if they were later than you…
How to silence negative thinking
If you can’t believe in witches, what can you believe in?
Reasons why i love the Addamses #37579
Native Language Fluency at Center of Navajo Nation Crossroads
In the Navajo language, there are 70 different verbs used to describe the activity of eating. Leave out one high tone or glottal stop, and the entire meaning of the word changes.
The verb-based, highly descriptive language is one of the most difficult to learn, especially for native English speakers, and it may be the deciding factor in the Navajo Nation’s upcoming presidential election.
My anaconda will consider it
My anaconda has, upon review of the information presented with its partners, decided that it, in fact, does not. My anaconda apologizes for any inconvenience this may cause and thanks you for your time.
Re: Your Anaconda,
Thank you for your consideration. Please keep my cover letter and resume in your files in case of any future openings. Good luck in all future endeavors.
A bunless hun
Go, Dads, Go!
So proud of my mother for doing her own research after I sent her that meme. A sign she hung in her car window.